Good morning, friends. Katy Perry dissed Miley’s tongue. Now, your morning constitutional:
Leaders of both houses of Russia’s parliament announced that they welcome Crimea’s vote to secede from Ukraine and join Russia. Crimea’s assembly voted yesterday to secede, and a public referendum will be held March 16. On the other hand, maybe it’s likely that Russia would be better off with Crimea remaining part of Ukraine.
Yesterday, the U.S. Army announced that it was suspending Lt. Col. Joseph Morse, its top sexual assault prosecutor, for sexually assaulting somebody at a sexual assault conference (nice try on the headline, WSJ editors). Meanwhile, the Senate blocked an effort to reform how sexual assault cases are handled in the military. Meanwhile.
Many states are moving their Medicaid long-term care plans to private companies with the hope of containing costs. However, Tennessee’s program, seen by many as the model, is showing some problems.
Why Turkey is no longer hailed as the model of a successful Islam-rooted democracy.
The state with the highest minimum wage also beats the U.S. in job creation.
No but really: Paramount Studios is going to edit a movie about Noah because conservative Christian groups were mad about “historical inaccuracies.”
Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders is prepared to run for president.
Senator John McCain is the least-popular senator.
Two of the largest supermarket chains are going to merge.
Ta-Nehisi Coates on why the NFL banning the n-word is actually racist itself.
Cops in Midland, Texas, make a game out of stealing homeless people’s signs.
Terrifying: A woman’s automatic bill payments hid her death—for six fucking years.
Finally, rocket cats.