Rand Paul is just afraid of imaginary beer

The Fancy Farm Picnic, a picnic held by the St. Jerome parish, is the traditional beginning of the campaign season in Kentucky. It’s a huge affair: so huge, in fact, that in 1985,  it was recognized in the Guinness Book of World Records as the “World’s Largest Picnic” for the consumption of 15,000 pounds of mutton, pork, and chicken at the 1982 picnic. Since it’s such an important event, you’d of course expect that Senate candidates Jack Conway and Rand Paul would have to make appearances.

Democratic candidate Jack Conway made some news this weekend when he told the crowd he was a “tough son of a bitch.” Of course, the RNC made an ad highlighting this use of profanity:

However, he’s not the one from which St. Jerome Parish demanded an apology. That honor belongs solely to, yes, Republican candidate Rand Paul, who gave, by all accounts, a mostly bland speech. However, that’s not what he did wrong. See, he told Sean Hannity that politicians were afraid of beer being thrown at them:

Paul told conservative radio personality Sean Hannity Tuesday that the picnic at St. Jerome Parish in western Kentucky Saturday was wild, partisan and that people boo the politicians. He also said politicians do worry that beer and other objects could be thrown at them.

The picnic does not serve alcohol because it illegal in the community. Though there was plenty of booing, nothing was thrown.

Of course, that’s not the end. Because, Randy being the guy he is, his campaign has apologized to the parish:

“Dr. Paul trying to convey just how enthusiastic the crowd was and did not mean to imply there was alcohol being served,” Jesse Benton, Paul’s campaign manager, said in an iPhone text to the Sun this morning. “Rand has always enjoyed Fancy Farm, thinks it is a wonderful event and apologizes to anyone he may have offended”

See, Randy didn’t mean to suggest that by being afraid of beer being thrown at him that there was actually beer. I promise that sentence was as difficult to write as it is to read. Let’s just say that Randy was just afraid that there would be some imaginary beer thrown at him.

(Also, how did the Paducah Sun know that the text came from an iPhone?)

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