OH NOES: Bacon spies!

You better watch how much bacon you’re eating! According to Texas Representative Louie Gohmert, the government could come after you for being a fat kid and eating all the bacon:

Here’s what I would say. Think about it. The federal government has all of your personal medical records. We’ve been told that the federal government has the capability of monitoring every credit card purchase, every debit card purchase that anyone in America makes. We’re also told it doesn’t do that, but it has the capability.

But once the federal government through tax dollars is paying for people’s health care, then it will proclaim the right to know what you’re spending your money on. Because, for example, if you have too high of a cholesterol rate, you have too high of a body mass index, then it’s quite conceivable at some point, you get a letter, you get an e-mail, from the federal government saying, “We noticed your cholesterol was 160 and we noticed that you bought bacon at the grocery store this weekend. Accordingly, since you are on a federal program, we are going to have to increase the amount that you pay to participate in the federal Obamacare program.”

Oh, crap. Another “unforeseen” consequence of the SOASHULIST OBAMACARE that Barack HUSSEIN Obama shoved down out throats! I wonder how much saturated fat is in SOASHULISM. And, something that my buddy Gohmert Pyle didn’t mention: Bacon is pig, and pig is not halal! Ergo: Barack HUSSEIN Obama wants to push sharia law on us!

Time to go hit up a tea party rally. Wait, tea sounds too healthy. How about we have a bacon-covered-sausage-with-gravy party instead?

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